You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
