So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
