was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
