Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
