I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
