You can't motorboat a personality
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
