I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
