Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
