there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
