where am i from again
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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