Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
