I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize