The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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