I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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