omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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