I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
