these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
