Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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