seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You made out with two different species that night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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