dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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