I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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