yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
