A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
