i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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