To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
