They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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