me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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