I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
