he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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