matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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