i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
