I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When are your genitals available?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize