I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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