Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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