and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I enjoy the company of your penis
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
