Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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