i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
