no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
