Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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