Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize