I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize