i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
honey bunches of taint.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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