Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
