I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
