Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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