you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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