i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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