Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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