Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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