You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
