You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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