is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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