Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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