at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
