that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
