worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
