Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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