New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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