I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
