I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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