yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
